As I prepared for this blog post, I could not take my mind off the challenges of the past four months. Those months were clouded with anxiety and doubt of my existence, abilities, and little clarity on my purpose. Being a female, an entrepreneur, and the sole provider of my needs and wants have been challenging. But as the saying by the late Nelson Mandela goes, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fail.” In June, I began to see a therapist who has been great in helping me get my mental health in shape.
The most tedious aspect of this journey was when I had to get psychologically tested. I was asked to answer a series of questions about my daily activities, interests, experiences, and opinions, to draw an image, and give one-word answers to express how I felt about certain people and situations. All these I learned, later on, were tactics used by psychologists to determine the psychological state of their patients and the right approach to treatment. Every week, I virtually met my therapist to share my innermost thoughts. Although seeing a therapist is quite expensive, it has been worth every session, and I feel better every time.
The month of June and July are unforgettable because I decided to allow myself to feel. Before this moment, I had been used to emotionally detaching from men. When I meet a man who somewhat fancies me, I try to build like an America- Mexico wall between us. The reason for such behaviour is a million-dollar question I find hard to answer. In July, I resolved to become a better lover and friend. Initially, it was pretty weird as I had to overthink and over process situations in my head. After a while, I shut off the doubtful thoughts to enjoy my moments with the guy I like until he gets bored of me.
I apologize for being cynical. I just try to enjoy every moment without inhibitions. While with my career, I had a redirection of what I should do as an independent publicist. There has been a shift in the way I conduct my business with strangers and acquaintances. I have learned the hard way to create a measurable balance in being friendly and professional. A learning curve I am so happy to have attained with minimal guidance. August was a quiet month and had nothing significant to offer except for my new found love of paying more attention to my skin. I promise to share this story next week.
September brought a different kind of calmness; I had lesser episodes of panic attacks and anxiety. Although I currently do not have anything significant happening with my boutique public relations agency, my second job as a communications officer with a Digital Marketing Company in the United Kingdom has been occupying my time. Thanks to my wonderful boss, Dr. Allo, as I love to call him.
Working through the business analysis of a soon to be launched app has been quite an experience for me. In one month, I have been exposed to different technical aspects of developing an app, marketing on a broader spectrum, and the rudiments of birthing a business to fruition. This experience has pushed me beyond my skill and level of creative thinking. I guess I can confidently say, my life isn’t that bad after all. So, with this, I say cheers to living my best life and sharing more of myself in this space. I promise to give weekly updates on SatiraYanz.